Searching for Beauty: Artist Views through the Lens of 2020/2021

News Nation
2021
Oil on panel
17” x 26”
2021

Over this past year, watching the news became a compulsive pastime. Through the screen, I witnessed the unraveling of normal life and I couldn’t look away. Often, I scanned the headlines rather than reading them in the endless scroll of the 24/7 news feed.

This work honors, not only a year of national trials, but the medium which conveyed, interpreted, and inflamed them. In short, it is a meditation on the NEWS.

Split Screen
2021
Oil on panel
26” x 32”

This is a painting of my studio window at Gage Academy of Art where I have spent so many hours and years of my life. At the start of the pandemic, we sheltered in place while schools, churches, and museums sat empty. Eventually I went back to school to paint in the building- alone. At first it was eerie and disturbing, but I was grateful to leave my house and have somewhere to go. I was disciplined about painting and the routine helped me through the summer.

This studio is about one mile from the location of the CHAZ, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone. It felt like being in the eye of a storm.

Respect
2020
Oil on linen
26” x 30”

After serving 20 years in the Army, I experienced a big cultural change from Soldier to Civilian. Not knowing what to do with my life, I had a difficult time adjusting. Art gave me a sense of purpose and direction, as well as good therapy for the progression of Parkinson’s Disease. Being around the motivated, disciplined artists at the Aristides Atelier was a great bridge from a life of Soldier to my life as an Artist.

“Respect” won the 2020 National Veterans Creative Arts Competition, recognizing me as the top Veteran oil painter in the country. Because of the pandemic, all events that would normally bring this painting to the public eye was modified or cancelled.

Cancelled were news interviews and a local exhibition. The painting was sent to Florida for the VA Competition, but had to be returned to Washington when the event went online. Finally, the virtual VA Creative Arts Festival attendance was attended by a fraction of the typical audience.

Now that 2020 is behind us, it is an honor to finally display this piece to the public.

Belle
2021
Oil on canvas
13” x 13”

This is an alla prima painting done early in the pandemic from my home studio, and I feel that it captures the isolation and loneliness of the first few months of 2020. Belle, our beloved dog, rests on her couch near the fireplace. I wanted to capture the afternoon light streaming in through the window beside her.

Garden Study
2021
Oil on canvas panel
14” x 11”

In times like we all experienced in 2020, it was too easy to get absorbed into the negative chatter. This painting was born out of my determination to focus on the meaningful, beautiful, and loving. It is a portrait of my daughter at a younger age, exploring her flower garden. Remembering the innocence of youth and the healing capacity of nature brings me hope and joy and reminds me of what matters most about being alive.

Solitude
2020
Oil on panel
12” x 12”

Solitude was painted during last spring, right at the beginning of the pandemic lock down. The piece started as a live demo from direct observation in my painting workshop at the end of February 2020. At the time, I wanted to show my students a blue and yellow color composition, hence the set up—an old ceramic noodle bowl that I had for years with a creamy yellow kitchen towel behind it. Shortly after, the stay-at-home order was placed, and everything shifted dramatically.

COVID cases and death tolls…trying to pull myself out of the overwhelming sadness and angst, I set up a make-shift home studio in a corner of my home and placed the exact set-up on my painting table. Usually, I leave my demo as is, but this time I decided to carry it to completion.

Painting from direct observation allowed me to refocus my mind and settle into a calm, reflective inner space. This painting saved my days! The pandemic has shaken me out of my normal routine, forcing me to rethink about everything. It is my wish we would come out of this pandemic stronger and with more compassion.

Contentment
2020
Oil on canvas
25” x 35″

The year 2020 allowed me to reflect upon what was most important to me. My husband, Chris, just left the military and we had the deep privilege of spending a few months at home together, enjoying each other’s company and finding a new routine. I tried to capture this peace and solitude in my painting honoring our first home, the second year of our marriage, and our first dog. I realize that not everyone was as lucky. I appreciate what we have and have not taken it for granted.

The scale in the painting represents finding balance and gratitude during this time of national crisis. The eggs in the still life were laid by our chickens, fulfilling our desire to move towards a simpler life of self-sufficiency. I cherish this time in our lives despite the external hardships, and I am focused on making a positive impact on those around me, sharing what I have learned: when life gets slower, we have an opportunity to appreciate what’s right in front of us.

Scanned by Bellevue Fine Art Reproduction, LLC.

Alison
2021
Oil on linen
19” x 23”

JUROR’S AWARD: THIRD PLACE

Alison, my mother, died on September 7, 2020. She did not die of COVID, but COVID was nevertheless responsible. When the pandemic came, it took from my mother her friends and community and her joy of life. She was alone and isolated. She would not eat. She was afraid to go out, to get food, to go to the doctor. Determined to fight, she went into denial. She ignored the symptoms of oncoming cancer because she could not separate her physical pain from her emotional one. By the time she finally agreed to go to the doctor, it was too late. She died in hospice soon thereafter. Other than me, visitors were not permitted. Its customary to say she was at peace, but she was not.

Towering Crow
2021
Oil on wood
16” x 20”

Crows are often seen as a symbol of darkness. In my painting it towers above the ground plane, all-powerful. I think darkness and terror are important aspects of art that do not hinder but enhance beauty’s impact on us.

Inevitably, I wanted the crow to have an ominous feeling to it. However, in my own life, I experience crows to the complete contrary. I see them as intelligent, aware, and mysterious.

The crow is a symbol of, not only death as it’s come to claim, but death with transformation and thus, rebirth.

i hope this painting of what 2020 means to me conveys there is this inherent goodness that spreads its wings even in the darkest times.

Man Lectured by Satyr
2020
Oil on panel
18” x 24”

In “Man Lectured by Satyr,” a man, dressed in an attire firmly attaching him to a specific element of culture, traverses the landscape at twilight, an amorphous time of light in which night and a new daylight is trusted to follow. He encounters a satyr, conversely nude and devoid of any specific cultural associations, who holds a feather toward the man as though to bestow something on him. To be reminded of facts-nature endures and exists and continues to exist- is the product of this encounter.

In 2020, the nature of facts, of that which is just and true, were often obscured by the members of our culture that are preoccupied with enacting what is most lamentable in man- hatred, deceit, bigotry, and maliciousness. Thus the man, a human preoccupied in his ways, is reminded by the satyr he encounters that there are things in the nature of the human condition that are as consistent and enduring as the existence of a natural world.

Longing
2021
Oil on aluminum panel
18” x 22”

Painting is a practice of devotion to the present. This year I needed stability, comfort, and rest. I was propelled into a meditation practice after experiencing unbounded levels of anxiety. In a world where the only constant is change, I struggle to maintain balance. Grounding in place, literally with feet on the floor and a breathing meditation, is essential to this painting.

This painting of my studio encapsulates all sensations to me. It is the sound of birds making a nest in the upper window and the smell of freshly poured concrete from the construction site nearby. It is my fears about the future, and bodily safety of my loved ones. It is a sanctuary of privacy and imagination. It is me, breathing through it all. It is a lesson to return to the present.

Tea with Theibaud
2021
Oil on linen on panel
14” x 18”

Having friends over for tea has been a favorite way to socialize. These antique teacups were a gift from a fellow artist whom I have seen due to COVID. Teacups also remind me of my mother, whom I sadly lost this past year. Mom and I enjoyed tea together.

This painting is about the human connections I have missed due to the pandemic, and its skewed perspective represents the unsettling effect it has had on our lives.

Meghan’s Window View
2021
Oil on linen
9” x 12”

The painting of my calico cat, Meghan, was created from photographs taken while quarantined in my apartment. Meghan provided me comfort and love and was my constant companion since my parents died years ago. My favorite photos are of her looking through the windows at birds or lights and sounds.

This painting is an homage to her for being my constant source of love and fun as the world seemingly came apart. With her help, I survived 2020.

I began making art in my 30s to open up my creativity. I started in watercolor, but 30 years later, I love drawing and painting. I love the exploration of life through art, it is freeing and allows me to capture a moment in time.

I love to innovate so I continue to study and improve upon my skills as an artist. I also read and research art history which provides me inspiration and knowledge.

Setback
2021
Oil on canvas
54” x 54”

I was inspired by a multitude of issues from 2020: Isolation…Racial tension…conflict.

Self-Portrait
2021
Oil on linen
48” X 53”

JUROR’S AWARD: BEST IN SHOW

Working during the pandemic took on a claustrophobic feel for me l. I felt as though all day, every day, all I did was read news, look, listen to the news on the radio, draw, watch my children, be a mother and partner…. and think. Think of hope, think of doom, think of a world spinning fast out of control, and into great and amazing change… I hope, I hope. Yet I am …. in my head… all day long.

Trying to capture this moment in paint, learning, seeing, hoping. My studio space is tight. I felt like all my books, implements, paint, and brushes were looking and calling to me with their information and ideas and potential. Time stood seemingly still yet moved faster than light. I felt that I could not move fast enough in the thick atmosphere.

I am hoping I caught all these feelings in this portrait, in the paint, the real, and the unreal, the light and the shadow, the thoughts of looking… at me …looking at me, seeing, me.

United We Stand
2021
Oil on linen
24” X 36”

JUROR’S AWARD: FIRST PLACE

Being asked to meditate on the year 2020 and create something that represents my own experience was challenging. I felt I spent a year sitting on the sidelines in lockdown watching the world wail through a collective trauma. Yet, at home in America, we fought more than just the virus. 2020 was a year marred by sickness and death, racism, gun violence, white supremacy, obstructive political division, nationalistic terrorism, and more. Lives are changed forever; too many needlessly gone.

The famous phrase, “United We Stand, Divided We Fall” drove me to this controversial image. We are a nation divided and failing each other more each day…to the point of death. Our flag is a symbol, a representation of the United States, yet we are not united. The very fabric of what makes us call ourselves Americans is unraveling and continues to do so.

My intention in this image is to serve as a reminder that unless we stop sowing division and come together, the stained, unraveling threads will be pulled to pieces.

I want this symbol to become whole again, but that can only be done if we act together… if we stand united.

Luminous Conch
2021
Oil on board
8” x 10”

The events of this past year left me with an abundance of time for reflection. The experience deepened my appreciation for the people in my life and treasured memories. In response, I was looking for ways to use my art to help lift others.

I created this piece as a tribute to a fellow painter who experienced a loss. Conch shells have held a place of importance for this artist. I poured my heart and soul into this piece, reflecting on the cherished memories of my friend.

In some cultures, the conch is a sign of victory over suffering. I hope viewers of this piece are left with a sense

Quietude
2021
Oil on panel
21” x 12”

The bells and the postcard have a personal significance for me, yet I am often surprised by unintended metaphors unfolding.  The beauty of light on silenced bells.  To quiet the cacophony during this tragic time I would retreat to my studio.  Searching for beauty, for me, would feel like a prayer.

 The postcard is a copy of John William Waterhouse’s ‘The Soul of a Rose’. I found out it is supposed that she is standing in the cloister of a monastery garden.  

Teddy Bears in the Window
2021
Charcoal on charcoal paper
20” x 20”

Children around the world are playing a game in which they see how many stuffed bears they can find perched in windows. The game is being played in countries around the world, from Australia to Japan to the United States. It is like a scavenger hunt suited for social distancing: People put teddy bears and other stuffed animals in windows, on porches, in trees and on parked cars. Children go for walks or drives with their families and try to spot them. It started as something fun to do while taking the kids out for a walk: How many bears can we spot today? But it is so much more than that now…it is helping people get through a scary time.

Seattle 2020
2021
Oil on panel
48” x 24”

This was painted after attending a Black Lives Matter march in Seattle. Agitators, who were not part of the march, set cars on fire. Despite this, the crowd was peaceful. The police used flash-bangs and pepper spray on the crowd which included families with children. The painting is a response, and I suppose a comment, on these events and the greater state of America over the past number of years.

Weight of the Soul
2021
Oil with CWM on panel

The artist loves color and the emotions it can evoke, allowing it to resonate within.

Self-Portrait Contemplating Infinity
2021
Oil on linen
32” X 24”

CURATOR OF EDUCATION CHOICE AWARD

The pandemic forced me into introspection. My thoughts turned to mortality and the cycle of life and death. I kept coming back to the concept of infinity. Since I was the only model I could work with, I did this self-portrait on the theme.

I hold a painting of myself that theoretically repeats itself infinitely with the portrait. The background further explores the concept with the infinite expanse of the cosmos. Though the pandemic seems interminable, it is but a blip on the infinite cosmic scale.

Fade to Black
2021
Oil on canvas
22” x 48”

JUROR’S AWARD: SECOND PLACE

The year 2020 tipped the scales of endurance for everyone I know. Brazen displays of sanctioned hate, unfathomably corrupt and deceitful politics, profound racial injustice, and a global pandemic all bearing down on us at once put a dent in the spirits of even my most optimistic friends. Underlying this and making all other concerns inconsequential by comparison, is climate change and our planet’s now irreversible spiral downward. Daily we add species, grand and small, to the extinction list.

“Fade To Black” gives visual voice to one aspect of the climate change crisis: Ocean acidification. Acidification is causing a net decrease in the amount of carbonate ions available in ocean waters, making it more difficult for marine calcifying organisms to form biogenic calcium carbonate, or CaCO3. These marine organisms include anything that builds a shell; all mollusk (seashells), shrimps, corals, crabs, lobsters and perhaps most important, krill, the basis of the oceanic food chain.

I have spent my entire life in proximity to the ocean, walking the line between the sea and shore. The thought of future generations beach combing for beautiful bits of wave-washed plastic and urban waste seems like an unsatisfying comparison to the world of wonder contained in a pocket full of shells.

Self-Portrait in a Pandemic
2021
Oil on acrylic mirror
14” x 11”

Pre-COVID I was working nonstop with very little time or space to think. Though I was surrounded by many people, the relentless demands on my time and energy would often leave me drained. As tragic as this pandemic has been, it is somewhat ironic that the isolation imposed has led to new and meaningful ways of working and connecting.

Being alone gave me time to self-connect and recharge. Due to social distancing, I was the ideal model. To come back to oneself and have time again is like meeting an old friend.

My Unmade Bed
2021
Oil on canvas on panel
18” X 24”

As I was working, I could see across the room, my unmade bed, and nightstand. The more I looked at that scene the more it struck me as beautiful. The glorious folds of the pillow indented where my head had recently been, next to the silhouette of the table lamp. The rich browns of the nightstand contrasted against the soft light across the pale wall and headboard. I knew I would paint that scene, familiar and intimate, a space I have grown to appreciate during this year of lockdown.

This painting represents my attempt to communicate my shrinking world during this time of isolation but also to convey a sense of peace rather than despair. As an artist I found the quarantine time to be a gift, one of slowing down and focusing on one thing at a time and seeing deeply.

Lachrimae
2021
Charcoal
18” x 24”

This year has momentous. We have collectively learned how to cope with the constant stream of tragedies this year has dealt us. We have learned how to build a mask between us and the world.

Reflecting on 2020 now, still in the pandemic, still with uncertainty ahead, I would ask you to reflect on this year for yourself. Cast aside your mask. Grant yourself time to avert your eyes. Let them fall downwards. Finally give them time to rest.

scan by Bellevue Fine Art

Medlar Fruits and Quinces
2021
Oil on linen
12” X 14”

Some things don’t dazzle, but solitude (or social isolation) promotes discovery of their quiet beauty. I already had an appreciation for my neighborhood, but it deepened during this pandemic. Lake Washington, the Central District/Madrona, the urban forests nearby, fruits growing on old trees, and dried up leaves inspired me in so many ways. These quinces caught my attention during one of my long walks.

This work emerged after a neighbor let me pick fruits from his trees. Voluptuous forms remind me of Rubens’ representation of human figures. I find inspiration in natural, unusual, or strange things. Can joy, discovery, and focus come during weird times? Absolutely!

18230-02new, 5/11/21, 3:08 PM, 8C, 9000×12000 (0+0), 150%, Custom, 1/15 s, R52.5, G37.5, B57.0

Nightwitching at Juliette’s Atelier
2021
Oil on linen
32” x 38”

A month before the COVID Diaspora, Juliette asked, “If you could live inside a painting, which would it be?” For me, it is Rembrandt’s famous, “The Night Watch.” Just before we all dispersed, I was able to paint my fellow artists…and a few legends…as a group. (See annotated image below.)

These atelier women are not carrying weapons to defend the city, as Rembrandt’s militia does, but talismans to defend against ordinariness. Each has a symbol of beauty from the atelier.

Apartment
2021
Oil on linen panel
9” x 12”

Creating art for me is an affirmation of life; it cuts through everything that gets in the way of deep connection to others, to ourselves, to nature, and to an awareness of what is most essential in life.

A goal of my work is to convey the beauty and design in often-overlooked everyday things, and to affirm the dignity and value of life, and uniqueness of each individual person.

 Working from life is integral to this process for me, as the connection and focused attention of a human spirit in an age of speed, distraction, and the virtual, is one of the things I wish to maintain and give to the viewer.  

This small painting of my studio apartment was made earlier this year during the time of the first lockdown. One thing that I love about painting and drawing is that through the act of looking, our everyday surroundings become reinvigorated with meaning…something even more necessary during a time of quarantine.

The Lonely Pine
Oil on canvas
10” x 20”

This painting is a metaphor for social distancing in open space.

Hymn to Flora
2021
Oil on linen
48” X 60”

The ancient myth of the goddess Flora is represented as a pregnant vision of spring and fertility, seated amongst a grove of sunflowers. The sunflowers, however, also designate a path to the afterlife, like a classic vanitas painting, it describes a cycle of birth and death together. In this moment of glory, a distant guide also stands waiting with a boat and the star burns beyond the horizon.

Shajara
2021
Charcoal, chalk, 23 karat gold
22” x 30”

We exchange so much with one another: conversation, laughter, anger, inspiration, fear, DNA, viruses, etc. The dangerous forms of these exchanges are pointed in our minds for obvious reasons, but all are nonetheless isomorphic expressions of the conversation of life, both constructive and destructive.

This drawing sprang from a candid moment during a photoshoot, where a ‘show and tell’ format conversation formed around Katrina’s tattoo. I wanted to visualize that conversational energy like a current that passes through the group, the environment, and the individual.

Self-Portrait 2020
2020
Oil on linen
25” x 19”

My experience of 2020 has primarily been being home. Not just because of quarantine, but also having finished four years in the Aristides Atelier and adjusting to working on my own. There are many levels of separation we all have felt this year.

I chose to paint this self-portrait in my living room space. I included the globe because, events of 2020 have made me feel the weight of threats to the planet and humanity. We are all connected globally, and this year isolated at the same time.

Reflections of 2020
Oil on board
18” X 24”

To say this has been a challenging year would be an understatement. This year was filled with mixed emotions, new, and unresolved challenges. My thoughts have been occupied by the pandemic, concern for family and friends, the needed BLM movement sparked by the deaths of George Floyd and Breonna Taylor, and the effects of global warming.

These issues continue to turn people lives upside down. The pandemic has touched all of us through death of a loved one, friend, illness, or loneliness. In my neighborhood, more and more tent cities appear revealing how the pandemic has left so many homeless. The boarded-up windows of Seattle echo the fight against an injustice that has existed for decades. Amid all of this are wildfires, dying coral reefs, and increasing extinction rates.

Feelings are eased when individuals and communities come together and give a powerful voice to issues. People taking action reminds us how precious life on our planet is. People inspire me and give me hope for the future.

Self-Portrait as Wanderer
2021
Oil on linen
48” X 60”

It is an important challenge to confront oneself on a difficult and emotional level in a way of a self-portrait. The practice began frequently as an assignment when I was a student, however the meaningful exchange between oneself and ones craft as painter has remained profound outside of a curriculum. When I suddenly became the only available model, the idea to once again revisit this project became timely. I  already had a plan for awhile to portray myself as a pilgrim, or seeker, or wanderer, overcome but striving blindly onwards.  

A Year of Four Seasons
2021
Oil on panel
30” x 24”

The past year has seen a global pandemic progress through the stages of a sudden and unforeseen onset, tragic loss, gradual recovery, and a slow but steady return to normalcy. What the world has endured is reflected in each one of us as we progress through our own phases of shock, despair, tentative hope, and, finally, optimism. It is important for us to remember that, just as the seasons of the year follow a cycle, tragedy and loss are followed by regrowth and abundance.

Masks have been a big part of our lives during the past year; for this reason, I chose to represent the phases of our experiences as fanciful Venetian-style masks that show four basic human expressions: surprise, sadness, neutrality, and happiness. The masks are connected to each other through seasonal symbols, and each one acknowledges the complete cycle.

Darigold
2021
Oil on wood panel
5” X 5”

Lifespans are dedicated to developing masterpieces, but personally, art has become how I express myself due to a lack of vocabulary. It is how I convey my emotions and set a tone. Not much for words, my process is typically done in solitude, a Shangri-La where I experience reverence. Having a background in both classical realism under Juliette Aristides and a degree in archeology, the history of the North Coast speaks to me. The grit, funk and desolate beauty of Astoria, my current home, also harkened a likeness to my former collective at the historic Salty Dog Studio in the Ballard neighborhood of Seattle. There, I worked alongside veteran artists, printmakers and ceramicists that pushed me to develop an intimate dialect that entwines abstract expressionism with impressionism.